I didn’t expect this to feel so hard

Any of you who have been attending the LIVE sessions will know that I've been working through some challenges and barriers in relation to my own child's education the past few months. I am learning a lot being the parent, rather than the psychologist, so I thought it might be helpful to share a little to help other parents. 

First thing to share is how much energy and emotion it takes. As I have been advocating for my own child the past few months, it has taken more out of me than I thought it would. 

There have been evenings where I’ve gone over conversations and emails again and again in my head. Or had to write then out so I could "get them out of my head". 
Moments where I’ve questioned myself.
Wondered if I was asking for too much… or not enough.
Nights where I’ve genuinely lost sleep trying to get the balance right.

Because here’s the tension we don’t talk about enough:

We want to trust our children’s schools.
We need to be in good relationship with them.

And at the same time…
we can feel, deep down, that something isn’t quite working for our child.

And holding both of those truths at once?
It’s hard.

What I’m seeing more and more — both professionally and personally — is this:

Schools are under pressure.

There are increasing demands. More responsibility being placed on teachers and principals. Decisions around supports and accommodations are sitting more heavily within schools. There’s a new curriculum. There’s inspection pressure. Many of my friends are teachers (I was a primary teacher before training as a psychologist), so I really do empathise. 

And when systems feel under pressure, something very human can happen.

Things can become more rigid.
More cautious.
Sometimes… more defensive.

Not because people don’t care.
But because they’re overwhelmed.

But here’s the part I want to gently say this week:

Even when we understand all of that…we still need to hold our child in mind.

Because our children are navigating that same system with their nervous systems, their sensitivities, their needs. And they don’t always have the capacity to advocate for themselves.

So we do.

This doesn’t mean pushing hard.
It doesn’t mean conflict.

But it does mean staying connected to what we know about our child.

And being willing to speak - even when it feels uncomfortable.

Over the next few weeks, I’m going to walk alongside you in this.

We’re going to talk about:

• How to advocate without burning bridges
• How to stay grounded when conversations feel difficult
• How to support our children within systems that don’t always flex easily

You don’t have to figure this out on your own.

If you’d like more support with this-  including scripts, guidance, and space to think things through, you’re very welcome to join us inside the membership and speak with me directly. I can personalise support for you. 

We’re having these conversations every week.

This is hard, and you’re not imagining it. I'm a trained psychologist and I still find these situations challenging. But you’re not alone in it either.

Your Child and Adolescent Psychologist,

Lorraine Xx

P.S. In the Membership this week, our webinar will take the first step in working to support your child in school, and we will work through a plan over the next 6 weeks. 

Members, please login and go to your newsfeed to this weeks 5 strategies.

To join the Membership, click below:

 Neurodiversity Parenting Membership