This is For Your Pressure Sensitive Child

The Pressure-Sensitive Parenting Toolkit: When less is more 💡

Dear Neurodiversity Parents,

I hope ye enjoyed last week's session. Thank you again for showing up with such curiosity and care.

This week, we’re zooming in on a subtle but powerful tool:

✨ Pressure-sensitive parenting as a form of emotional regulation.

You know those moments where your child digs in even harder the more you try to help? That’s often not defiance, it’s dysregulation. And when the nervous system is in a state of threat, more pressure = more overwhelm.

✨ “Sometimes, what looks like ‘bad behaviour’ is just a brain that’s overwhelmed.”

Neurodivergent children often need co-regulation—not isolation—when their emotions run high.

So what can you try instead of the time-out?
💭 Connection before correction
💭 Safe spaces instead of ‘punishment spaces’
💭 Sensory or movement resets before talking it through

TOP TIP: Before you respond to the behaviour, ask: “What does my child’s nervous system need right now?”
The answer often isn’t a step...it’s a hand. 

🧠 Why This Works 

Think of your child’s regulation like a balloon. When they’re already full of tension, even a tiny puff—like “Can you say that more kindly?”—might cause a pop.

Pressure-sensitive parenting means you:

• Notice their internal state

• Adjust your response based on that state

• Come back to the teaching after the storm passes

This isn’t permissiveness-it’s emotional attunement.

💬 EPT Script: The Gentle Step-Back

Try this during tense moments:

“Maybe this is too hard right now. Let’s pause. I’m here when you’re ready.”
“You’re allowed to take a break. I’ll help when your body feels better.”

Later, when things settle:

“Before, it felt hard to listen, and that’s okay. I will just leave your ....[fill in what the task is here but DO NOT use a question. Use a non-pressuring statement that provides an option to finish/engage with the task, without directly asking]. 

Here are some examples: 

• “…snack here in case your body decides it’s hungry later.”

• “…coat by the door if it feels like the right moment to go outside.”

• “…colouring book open on the table if you feel ready to come back to it.”

• “…toothbrush near the sink in case your body wants a fresh feel later.”

• “…clothes here in case your body feels like changing soon.”

• “…copy book/diary open on your bed if your thoughts feel like spilling out later.”

• “…art things on the table in case your hands feel like making something.”

• “…shoes by the front door in case your body says it’s time to leave.”

• “…headphones nearby if your ears need a quiet space again.”

• “…reminder note here if your brain wants to come back to it later.”

✍️ EPT Exercise: Create a “Safe Space Plan”

With your child, design a cozy regulation corner for them to regulate in. Include:

• A weighted cushion or blanket

• Fidget/sensory items

• A calming visual (e.g. lava lamp, favourite photo)

• A short “calm code” your child can use to ask for space or support

Give it a name together (e.g. “peace place,” “cozy corner,” “my pause spot”), and tell them it is there for them if they want to use it. Model how to use it yourself - head in there! Read a book with the lava lamp on and put the weighted blanket over you. 

⭐ EPT Pro Tip:

Connection is discipline. It’s what helps children internalise safety, self-awareness, and eventually, self-regulation.

You’re doing such intentional, meaningful work.

Kindest regards, 

Your Child and Adolescent Psychologist,

Lorraine Xx

P. S. Next week... we are going to start thinking about making a back to school plan ...