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What if your child isn’t being difficult, but different?

Jun 30, 2025
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Understanding your child starts with seeing them clearly

 

Dear {{ first_name }}, 

 

I want to tell you a story.

 

A few weeks ago, I met a 7-year-old boy in clinic, let’s call him Ivan.

Ivan had big feelings. Quick frustration. Explosive reactions. Teachers said he was "disruptive." His parents said they felt like they were constantly walking on eggshells.

 

But when we sat down together, I noticed something else:

Ivan was deeply sensitive. Quick to notice tone, body language, tension.

He had a brain that worked fast... but a nervous system that felt unsafe, almost all the time.

He wasn’t being difficult.

He was overwhelmed, misunderstood, and doing his best in a world not built for him.

Ivan is neurodivergent. And what looked like “defiance” or “bad behaviour” was actually his nervous system in a constant state of alert.

 

The Reframe:

When a child is consistently struggling, it’s not a parenting failure.
It’s a signal to look deeper.

So this week, I want to offer you something small but powerful:

 

🖊 A Practical Reflection Exercise

Take five minutes (yes, even just five), and gently explore the following:

  1. When is your child or teenager most regulated?
    – What are they doing? Where are they? Who are they with?

  2. When are they most dysregulated?
    – Are there patterns in the environment, expectations, or transitions?

  3. What might their behaviour be trying to communicate?
    – Not manipulate, not control — but communicate. What are they trying to tell you?

This isn't about analysing your child or teenager. It's about giving yourself space to see them with softer eyes. Hopefully this helps you help your young person this week. Xx

 

As always, if this brings up more questions than answers, that’s okay.
We go step by step. Gently. Together.

 

And if you're starting to suspect that your child might be neurodivergent and you’re unsure where to go next — you’re not alone. That’s what we’re here for.

 

You can reach out any time to me via the Membership weekly sessions. 

 

There’s no rush. Just an open invitation.

 

That’s why I created the EPT Neurodiversity Membership — a gentle, ongoing space to get the support you need, without pressure or judgment... for parents who want to parent with brain-body knowledge and understanding 🫶.

 

It includes:


🧠 Weekly LIVE online multidisciplinary support calls.

📝 Printable tools and strategies you can actually use.

🎓 Masterclasses on the topics that matter most.

💬 And direct access to me and our multidisciplinary team for questions and guidance.

 

The door is always open.  Price: €59.99 per month (€15 per week). Sign up or cancel anytime. 

This week, the LIVE topic will be: Self-Care and Maintaining Parental Energy Levels.

 LEARN MORE about VIP Membership ✨

 

 

 

Speak soon,

 

Your Child and Adolescent Psychologist,

 

Lorraine x

Lorraine O.B. Madden C.Psychol., Ps.S.I. M6672C

Chartered Child Educational Psychologist and Clinical Director of EPT Clinic

2022 Recipient of the “Contribution to Professional Practice” award from the Psychological Society of Ireland (PSI)

Current Chair of the PSI’s Special Interest Group in Neurodiversity

Psychology Traumatologist and Attachment Specialist

Member of the Special Interest Group in Autism PSI

Founder, EPT Clinic
@lorraine.madden_eptclinic | eptclinic.ie

 

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