Pressure Sensitive Parenting as an Emotinonal Regulation Tool

Gentle doesn’t mean passive, it means attuned 💛

Hi neurodiversity parents,

I am starting to use this term more now, because I am seeing the benefit of using a neurodiversity (brain-body informed) parenting approach with lots of the families myself and our team are working with. It is really working!

So with this in mind, something we’ve been exploring in the clinic lately is this idea of:

✨ Pressure-sensitive children - or knowing when to offer guidance and when to soften, pause, or simply hold space.

Neurodiverse children (autistic, ADHD, dyslexic, dyspraxic, sensory sensitive or deeply feelings children), often process the world through a more sensitive lens... emotionally, physically, and neurologically.

This means that well-meaning prompts like “Say sorry” or “Try your best” can sometimes backfire, not because they’re wrong… but because they come at the wrong moment.

And then there is the subject of consequences... 

Have you ever felt that a time-out or consequence actually escalated things instead of helping? You’re not alone, and you’re not doing anything wrong.

“Sometimes, what looks like ‘bad behaviour’ is just a brain that’s overwhelmed.”

Neurodivergent children often need co-regulation - not isolation - when their emotions run high.

So what can you try instead of the time-out?

💭 Connection before correction
💭 Safe spaces instead of ‘punishment spaces’
💭 Sensory or movement resets before talking it through

💭 This week, reflect on this:

Instead of asking: “How do I get them to listen?”
Try asking: “What level of support or space does my child need right now to feel safe and regulated?”

Because here’s the truth:

Regulation doesn’t grow from pressure, it grows from connection.

And connection often requires us to pause, soften, and wait for readiness.

TOP TIP:

Before you respond to the behaviour, ask: “What does my child’s nervous system need right now?”

The answer often isn’t a step—it’s a hand.

It’s not about giving in—it’s about tuning in.

With warmth,

Your Child and Adolescent Psychologist,

Lorraine Xx

P.S. As usual, we will be doing a deep dive into this topic in our Neurodiversity Membership LIVE sesssion this week. Xx