Let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater!
Aug 17, 2026
I've been busy over the summer spending lots of time with my kids, my family and other families too. We've been on holidays to France, we've had lots of time at home, and I've had some time to think about what I am passionate about in regards to parenting.
In fact, my dad commented on it recently, and rightly asked "Do you share your thoughts about parenting that way in work?" It made me think! I share very clearly and honestly in the Membership, but on social media and in public, I am probably more "PC", especially when it comes to neurodivergent parenting.
But the honest truth is that I do believe in maintaining the basics - even when children are neurodivergent. I don't think we should throw out the baby with the bathwater!
So for the rest of the year I am going to share my personal belief system around parenting neurodivergent children - I am going to share it in a more straightforward (non PC way).
My dad calls it "good old fashioned parenting", you know - the basics:
✨ Sleep - I believe in children going to bed at a decent hour - even during the summer
✨ Nourishment - good food, not too much suger and processed food.
✨ Movement - and this for me goes hand in hand with managing tech and device time
✨ Family connection - basics like family breakfast and dinner time
✨ Responsibility - sharing, saying sorry etc.
✨ Predictability - setting up a good routine for kids, where they know what is happening
✨ Boundaries - a good oldfashioned "no, sorry, you can't do that" is often said in our house...
✨ Opportunities to wait, practise and grow - chores, helping out, doing boring things
Sometimes I honestly do wonder if we've thrown the baby out with the bathwater when it comes to parenting.
Over the last decade, we've learned so much about children's nervous systems, neurodivergence, sensory needs, emotional development, and regulation. That knowledge has changed many lives for the better.
We understand our children in ways previous generations simply couldn't, which is great and super helpful.
But understanding children better does not mean, in my opinion anyway, abandoning the foundations that help them thrive. In fact, I believe the opposite is true.
The more we understand children, the more we realise how important the basics really are:
Of course, different children need different supports. Neurodivergent children may need adaptations, accommodations, flexibility and understanding that honour their unique needs.
But all human beings, children and adults alike, tend to do better when strong foundations are in place. Sometimes in our efforts to be compassionate, we can begin to wonder whether expectations are harmful. I don't think they are. I think children need understanding and guidance. Connection and boundaries.
Support and opportunities to develop capability.
We can understand behaviour through a nervous-system lens without expecting less of children. We can embrace neurodiversity without abandoning the foundations that help families flourish.
That is something I'll be talking much more about here.
I'm curious...
👉 What parenting foundation do you think is most important to protect?
Inside the membership this week, we go a little deeper into this topic. We will also talk about play, as that came up as a question in last week's membership.
Speak to ye Thursday :)
Your Child and Adolescent Psychologist,
Lorraine Xx
P.S. In the Membership this week, we will talk about this in more details.
Members, please login and go to your newsfeed to access this weeks deep dive.
To join the Membership, click below 👇:
Neurodiversity Parenting Membership
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